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Author Topic: Melodeon Limericks  (Read 71361 times)

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pikey

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #20 on: October 16, 2012, 10:15:21 PM »

There were two unfortunate fellows
Got their beer bellys caught in their bellows
They pulled and they fought
To make them less taught
But their stomachs just swelled and went yellow
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Still squeezing after all these years.
Mostly on hohners , with a couple of Dinos and a smattering of anglos - and now a Jeffries duet

pikey

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #21 on: October 16, 2012, 10:23:06 PM »

There once was a fellow from Ely
Who's box was all squeaky and squealy.
He used all his might
To make it sound right
Then Theo said send it north eastly  .

With waxing and valving and reeds
It got just what every box needs
A good overhaul
Which cost overall
Less than a week in Maldives!

So if you have got an old Club
Whose sound just gives people the rub
Have no hesitation
Don't waste perspiration
And don't take it down to the pub.

Find a tuner you know you can trust
To sort out the leaks and the rust
And fit nice new pallets
To sort out the racket
For a good price that won't make you bust!

For tuning you have such a choice
With reeds grouped in two or three voice
Swing, dry, demi, dedic
Are all worth the credit
Of Theos considered advice!

Other tuners of course do exist
Use any of them with no risk.
Lester, Martyn or Rees
And others can please
Take your pick, all are perfectionists :-)
« Last Edit: October 16, 2012, 10:42:14 PM by pikey »
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Still squeezing after all these years.
Mostly on hohners , with a couple of Dinos and a smattering of anglos - and now a Jeffries duet

pikey

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #22 on: October 16, 2012, 11:23:14 PM »

The Liliput went off to a party
Preciosa became very haughty
She wanted to play
At home and away
In C and in F and B flatty

But she'd had her Gleighton replaced
Which led to her losing her face >:( ;D
When Lili began
To play with aplomb
In E and in G like an ace.

Preciosa then drank lots of wine
She thought she was perfectly fine
'Til she said with a snarl
'You know nothing at all,
put your fondo where the sun doesn't shine'


There's a very nice end to this tale
When a latecomer started to hail:
"D/G is preferred
And more often heard
On pokerworks. Now where is the ale?"




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malcolmbebb

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #23 on: October 17, 2012, 07:52:42 AM »

A young chap, with his new Casta Lilly,
Was playing in the nude - now that's silly.
He explained to his fellows,
While compressing his bellows,
That he won't trap his fingers - or will he?
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Dino BPII.
"Tradition is not the worship of ashes, but the preservation of fire."

Nick Collis Bird

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #24 on: October 17, 2012, 04:43:12 PM »

Today I decided to play
A gavotte in a French sounding way
But the box that I've got sounded just full of snot
So I gave the damn thing away.


My squeezebox was feeling quite stiff
So I opened it up for a sniff
But that's very naughty 'cos WD40

Has ruined the innards... And whiffs.
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Has anyone heard of the song. “ Broken Alarm-clock Blues” ? It starts   “I woke up this Afternoon”

Adam-T

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #25 on: October 17, 2012, 05:08:36 PM »

There was a young girl from Mombasa
Who bought a Hohner Contessa
She said the bass is real weak
Just a fart and a squeak
So she dumped it and then got a Strasser

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A: Take a Break from Mel-Net. (IF YOU CAN)

langleymick

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #26 on: October 17, 2012, 08:26:14 PM »

My girlfriend thought of this

A melodeon player from Leeds
had a problem with rusty old reeds
he's now the proud owner
of a shiny new Hohner
which regularly gets pulled and squeezed
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Adam-T

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #27 on: October 17, 2012, 08:54:51 PM »

Are the people in Czech really bonkers
because they only play heligonkas ?
when they hear Normal bass
they think what a disgrace
Heard deeper sounds from car Honkers
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MartinW

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #28 on: October 17, 2012, 10:51:34 PM »

I think it is simply a crime
Forcing 'melodeon' to rhyme
I learned to play
A new tune today
A much better use of my time

Martin
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Nick Collis Bird

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #29 on: October 18, 2012, 07:27:47 AM »

THEO! It's got to be said
Could you please put an end to this thread.
The  poems have been great but is it never too late
To do something productive instead?

Eat your heart out Wordsworth.
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Has anyone heard of the song. “ Broken Alarm-clock Blues” ? It starts   “I woke up this Afternoon”

pikey

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #30 on: October 18, 2012, 07:58:01 AM »

there once was a player from Eton
his skill it could never be beaten
any tune you could name
he would play just the same
on a box that he bought in Cleckheaton
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Still squeezing after all these years.
Mostly on hohners , with a couple of Dinos and a smattering of anglos - and now a Jeffries duet

Nick Collis Bird

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #31 on: October 18, 2012, 08:25:00 AM »

I found a melodeon once
In a car park just South of Sheffield
It looked very nice but infested with mice
So was left in an adjacent field
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Has anyone heard of the song. “ Broken Alarm-clock Blues” ? It starts   “I woke up this Afternoon”

jb

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #32 on: October 18, 2012, 09:44:49 AM »

It seems that plenty of folk would
Give their right arm for an Oakwood
Oh, hang on…
Er...
No, that doesn’t work.
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pikey

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #33 on: October 18, 2012, 10:15:35 AM »

It seems that plenty of folk would
Give their right arm for an Oakwood
Oh, hang on…
Er...
No, that doesn’t work.

:-)

There once was was a player named Lionel
Who covered his Oakwood with vinyl.
'We'll get him at Witney,
or else up in Whitby
For our actions we can't be liable"

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Still squeezing after all these years.
Mostly on hohners , with a couple of Dinos and a smattering of anglos - and now a Jeffries duet

pikey

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #34 on: October 18, 2012, 10:23:48 AM »

I am enjoying this thread.  (:)

The very first Silly Competition for the 'Sheffield Melodeon Gang and Friends' at Melodeons at Witney was to devise a limerick which had to contain the words 'melodeon' and 'Sheffield'. I think the final competition entries are still around, buried somewhere in the forum threads.

There is a great town on the Don
called Sheffield, where factories went on
to make knives and forks
and steel reeds that ought
to fit into melodeons.

Boom Boom!!
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Still squeezing after all these years.
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Nick Collis Bird

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #35 on: October 18, 2012, 10:32:47 AM »

Pikey!
That was rubbish.
THEO, oh per lease
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Has anyone heard of the song. “ Broken Alarm-clock Blues” ? It starts   “I woke up this Afternoon”

Theo

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #36 on: October 18, 2012, 10:36:45 AM »

Nick, don't look to me for help, you stated this.
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Theo Gibb - Gateshead UK

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Nick Collis Bird

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #37 on: October 18, 2012, 10:42:50 AM »

Oh God WHAT have I done.


Pikey replies to my blarney
Well, Can he write things or can't he?
I think it depends on the reeds that he bends
And I'll bet it's a bloody Soprani
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Has anyone heard of the song. “ Broken Alarm-clock Blues” ? It starts   “I woke up this Afternoon”

pikey

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #38 on: October 18, 2012, 10:53:57 AM »

A coeliac player from Eton,
had a box that was all free from Gluten.
The glue for the bellows
Was egg white, no yellow,
for if you can't join 'em, just beat 'em!
Logged
Still squeezing after all these years.
Mostly on hohners , with a couple of Dinos and a smattering of anglos - and now a Jeffries duet

pikey

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #39 on: October 18, 2012, 11:02:41 AM »

Oh God WHAT have I done.


Pikey replies to my blarney
Well, Can he write things or can't he?
I think it depends on the reeds that he bends
And I'll bet it's a bloody Soprani

LOL!

I sadly have got no Soprani
No Paulo, and no Castagnari.
Hohner I have plenty
and Dino (not twenty,
but thirteen not counting the Lilli)

 ;D
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Still squeezing after all these years.
Mostly on hohners , with a couple of Dinos and a smattering of anglos - and now a Jeffries duet
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