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Author Topic: Melodeon Limericks  (Read 71360 times)

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george garside

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #60 on: October 19, 2012, 07:55:59 PM »

aimed at no one in particular!

.there was a young man called Billy
who played loud & fast on his Lilly
he never got to know
it could be played quiet & slow
so he never was dealing
with airs full of feeling
but played relentlessly on
for the enjoyment of none!

george
 
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Nick Collis Bird

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #61 on: October 19, 2012, 08:03:30 PM »

GEORGE!
 That was even worse. Pikey where are you?
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Has anyone heard of the song. “ Broken Alarm-clock Blues” ? It starts   “I woke up this Afternoon”

YorkieKen

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #62 on: October 19, 2012, 09:17:36 PM »

A strange think happened one day
When I felt drawn to play
A strange box with bellows and buttons
It was about that same time
That I heard my wife whine
What the hell is that racket...
good-riddance!

Don't worry I'm still married, she came back.
Wife is just 'a bit deaf ' now  :||:

Ken.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2012, 10:14:55 PM by YorkieKen »
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Nick Collis Bird

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #63 on: October 20, 2012, 09:57:50 AM »

I just bought a Roland today
Not sure how it will play
But by pressing the knobs there should be no probs
But what will the Luddites all say?
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Has anyone heard of the song. “ Broken Alarm-clock Blues” ? It starts   “I woke up this Afternoon”

george garside

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #64 on: October 21, 2012, 06:41:06 PM »

There was a boxplayer from Dunoon
who loudly played every tune
the neighbours objected
so he was ejected
to play in the outside 'dunny' room.

One day about noon
when in the midst of a tune
he fell down the dunny and died
his box playing brother
fell down another
and now they're inturd side by side

george
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pikey

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #65 on: October 22, 2012, 08:18:48 AM »


 >:E
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pikey

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #66 on: October 22, 2012, 10:33:54 AM »

Ode to George Garside:

Our George is a teacher of note
Who doesn't do learning my rote
"Repeat after me,
not once through but three"
just isn't what makes his boat float.

Go to one of his sessions and find
that George is exceedingly kind.
He will take you right through
all that you need to do
to get the best tunes in your mind.

He always gives out so much pleasure
Delivered with tempo and measure.
He's ever so sprightly,
not once, but twice nightly,
and his playing is something to treasure.

He plays with great alacrity
Bluebell Polka, the third part in C.
You'd think it was Shand
With Morino and Band;
But no, it's just George on Club III.

Our George cuts an imposing figure,
and teaches you well with some rigour.
He travels the land
with his box in his hand,
so once more, right through, with some vigour!

I only see George one a year
in a place where they serve chips and beer.
He is well know at Whitby
and Sidmouth, and should be
a man who we give THREE GOOD CHEERS!

Boom.boom...........


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pikey

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #67 on: October 22, 2012, 10:36:32 AM »

'Twas a night filled with dread and with fear
in a session with few folks to hear
when we played our schottisches
in bits and in pieces
'cos we'd gone to a pub with no beer

 :|glug
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pikey

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #68 on: October 22, 2012, 10:38:55 AM »

If you ever find a Hohner Corso
You must hold it right up to your torso
then you'll make it sound sweet
Just like Dud and like Pete
in that great show 'Not only but also'

 :-\
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pikey

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #69 on: October 22, 2012, 10:41:15 AM »

If Luke Skywalker played tunes in here
Squeezing gently, so no-one could hear
I think i'd be saying
"To get better playing
Use the Force Luke" quite loud in his ear.


BOOM BOOM  >:E
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Mostly on hohners , with a couple of Dinos and a smattering of anglos - and now a Jeffries duet

pikey

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #70 on: October 22, 2012, 01:18:54 PM »

Here on Melnet we sometimes do moan
in a language that's all of our own.
Felt, pallets and levers
and pliers and tweezers
plus filing to get the right tone.

But when fondo comes into the thread
I think we should kill it off dead
Misquoting Chris Ryall,
the word is quite vile
"there's no bl**dy fondo!" he said

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Strigulino

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #71 on: October 22, 2012, 02:05:30 PM »

Now yesterday, it would appear
I've been playing this thing for a year
I practice most days
The tunes wot I plays
But my two cats still run in fear.
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The Strig

"World-famous poker player. Give her a good poker and she'll play any tune you like." - The Goon Show
Pets:  Two cats, one husband, a D/G Hohner Morgane, a C/F Liliput, a dark and mysterious anglo concertina, a Streb, a Giordy...

pikey

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #72 on: October 22, 2012, 02:08:28 PM »

 :D
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pikey

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #73 on: October 22, 2012, 02:11:07 PM »

I fear that I'm starting to find
I'm going quite out of my mind
With these bl**dy rhymes
They're taking less time
To get them to scan and to have the same number of syllables in each stanza

 >:E
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george garside

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #74 on: October 22, 2012, 04:12:40 PM »

one for the semitone brigade!

to all those BC-ers  whose bellows go  way to far out
add a row of arse upards accidentals
with  a few whole notes thrown in for nowt
it makes playing in A easy on two pleats of bellows
so you can try and imitate some very clever fellows
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pikey

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #75 on: October 22, 2012, 04:36:02 PM »

George, thats just like William McGonigle stuff!  'Oh wonderful silvery bridge of the Tay. etc'



It was in 1979
Which will be remembered for a very long time
When Pikey first learned to play
in his own inimitable way
the tune I hear you say
was once played by Jona Lewie
who when he wasn't stopping cavalry
Had a hit with a shuffle from down by the sea
Which Pikey used to play on his D/G
But in the key of A which as you see
Became a famous speciality
Of young (now not so) Pikey
Which he would play on the silvery Tay
if it was not so far far away
Even if he went by train
It wouldn't really take the strain
Getting there is so pain
Now I've gone off on one again
I think I'll go back to Limericks
'cos this style of poetry can make you feel sick
and also an drive you round the bends
Because it's so d*mn hard to make it end.


 >:E

PS George, I hope you liked your ode!  ;)
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Strigulino

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #76 on: October 22, 2012, 05:17:35 PM »

Now yesterday, it would appear
I've been playing this thing for a year
I practice most days
The tunes wot I plays
But my two cats still run in fear.

This is actually factually inaccurate.  A brace of haiku on the actual truth:

Squeezebox practicing
After work while feeding cats
Is Pavlovian.

Now, if I play box
At other times of the day
They expect food bowls.
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The Strig

"World-famous poker player. Give her a good poker and she'll play any tune you like." - The Goon Show
Pets:  Two cats, one husband, a D/G Hohner Morgane, a C/F Liliput, a dark and mysterious anglo concertina, a Streb, a Giordy...

Nick Collis Bird

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #77 on: October 22, 2012, 05:18:23 PM »

Oh God!
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Has anyone heard of the song. “ Broken Alarm-clock Blues” ? It starts   “I woke up this Afternoon”

Nick Collis Bird

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #78 on: October 22, 2012, 05:23:46 PM »

It's my Birthday today that's the truth
And I play a Dino Baffetti
My missus has bought me an FR18
And I'm getting a little bit sweaty.
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Strigulino

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Re: Melodeon Limericks
« Reply #79 on: October 22, 2012, 05:25:26 PM »

Regarding the Pavlovian Melodeon Conditioning; I think this is the case.  I have started practicing at odd times to try and get them out of the expectation; mind you, they have access to dry food and water at all times, it's the old lady's special renal dinner that they beg for.  And they will also beg for it any time anyone steps in the kitchen. 

They have been caught in the act of being very sneaky also.  Mr Spouse fed them as he knew I would be late from work, then he went out.  I got home from work, and they went through the whole "feed us!" rigmarole, but I detected a scent of wet catfood in the house, so I waited until Mr Spouse got home.  So the little greedy-gutses had thought that if they made enough of a fuss, I would think they hadn't been fed and they would get a second dinner. 

Happy birthday - what a nice lady wife you have!  Or is she hoping you might invest in some headphones too?  ;)
« Last Edit: October 22, 2012, 05:46:54 PM by Strigulino »
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The Strig

"World-famous poker player. Give her a good poker and she'll play any tune you like." - The Goon Show
Pets:  Two cats, one husband, a D/G Hohner Morgane, a C/F Liliput, a dark and mysterious anglo concertina, a Streb, a Giordy...
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