Topic: Dear Marge........ Humorous thread...... Melodeon related problems only please (Read 27649 times)

syale · « **Reply #40 on:** October 25, 2013, 02:25:40 AM »

Dear Marge, I play a one row and was quite happy playing with my instrument by myself at home. I went out in a group recently, the 2 row and 3 row guys started laughing and sniggering at me and asking about my cross row technique. When I started to cry they laughed louder. What do I do? Do I join them and lose my individuality? Do I ignore them? Do I give them all 4 stops?

Please help

Single guy.

Nick Collis Bird · « **Reply #41 on:** October 25, 2013, 10:04:35 AM »

Quote from: syale on October 25, 2013, 02:25:40 AM

Dear Marge, I play a one row and was quite happy playing with my instrument by myself at home. I went out in a group recently, the 2 row and 3 row guys started laughing and sniggering at me and asking about my cross row technique. When I started to cry they laughed louder. What do I do? Do I join them and lose my individuality? Do I ignore them? Do I give them all 4 stops?

Please help

Single guy.

Dear Single Guy,
Just be happy with your one row, others may try to intimidate you with their amazing range of buttons,Pushme pullyou etc. But that does not make their music any better, just louder and probably more aggravating to the listeners. Your individuality will stand out . "Less is more" as Oscar Woods
Said " and while you're at it where's the Woodbines?" *
If you have any more problems with the multi- buttoners, please write again.
Marje.
* a cheap cigarette from W.D. And H. O. Wills, (no longer available)

Bob Ellis · « **Reply #42 on:** October 25, 2013, 10:56:25 AM »

Dear Marje,

I keep playing with my instrument in the hope that my performance will improve, but I notice that many players who are better than me spend more time writing witty innuendos on a chat group than playing with their instrument. Am I going about it the wrong way?

Perplexed of Hawes

pikey · « **Reply #43 on:** October 25, 2013, 11:59:43 AM »

Quote from: Bob Ellis on October 25, 2013, 10:56:25 AM

Dear Marje,

I keep playing with my instrument in the hope that my performance will improve, but I notice that many players who are better than me spend more time writing witty innuendos on a chat group than playing with their instrument. Am I going about it the wrong way?

Perplexed of Hawes

Dear Perplexed,
Yes.
Marje.

(Editor: Marjes reply was cut short due to a call of nature)

SamH · « **Reply #44 on:** October 25, 2013, 12:18:29 PM »

Dear Marge, Marje, Margery, Marjory or Madge

I have been playing the melodeon for just over a year now, I feel I am doing really well! I can play a few notes of buttered peas (The G, C, A and Eb I think). I also play the Shaky-Egg, which has given me valuable experience in all of the technical music theory I need to master such a fine, complex instrument as the one row melodeon (Which is the model the man from Hawkins Bazaar recommended)

I am worried I am watering down the other instruments I play (As well as the banjo, which I only started as a joke) So do I continue learning the melodeon or do I focus on my main instruments: the shaky-egg, the triangle (Diatonic AND Chromatic) and the empty-beer-glass-I-tap-against-the-table-sometimes-in-sessions)?

Yours Faithfully
One-String-Banjo-Sam.

mory · « **Reply #45 on:** October 25, 2013, 02:56:29 PM »

Dear Deirdre

For some strange reason I have recently been inundated with letters regarding people and their problems with melodeons. These aren't your usual sort we deal with, generally coming from the editors personal life, that we are both so used to. But these, well honestly, talk about perverse. Consequently I'm not sure how much more of this I can take!

Yours flabbergasted and exasperated Marje
P.S. I think I need a lie down all I here about is melodeon this melodeon that I think I'm having a nervous...........

SamH · « **Reply #46 on:** October 25, 2013, 04:25:55 PM »

Dear Marge

My girlfriend doesn't seem to like my melodeon playing. Should I play louder?

Sam.

Nick Collis Bird · « **Reply #47 on:** October 25, 2013, 05:20:26 PM »

Quote from: SamH on October 25, 2013, 04:25:55 PM

Dear Marge

My girlfriend doesn't seem to like my melodeon playing. Should I play louder?

Sam.

Sam, probably better to change you Girlfriend . I had a Girlfriend once she didn't like motorbikes,
So I bought a Scooter. Got tied up with the Brighton thingy, wearing Leathers And not a Parka.
Even to this day I am still picking pieces out from my exhaust pipe.
Play louder, with a different woman,
Marje.

boxcall · « **Reply #48 on:** October 26, 2013, 02:50:38 AM »

Dear Sam ,
you might also try to playing slower and for longer and if she is still not happy
don't think about marriage or she might just toss your melodeon in the trash after she breaks it into a million pieces
Marje

boxcall · « **Reply #49 on:** October 26, 2013, 03:02:50 AM »

Dear Marje,
My melodeon keyboard has been giving me trouble lately My rod has been getting stuck in the hole in the lever. so Theo's advise was to take the rod out, give it a good cleaning & polishing if needed (and it was ) then I reinsert it back in the hole and reamed that out until the rod spun freely. And after that when I played with it it felt very good but because I play often and for a long time I feel a little heat building up so , My question is do you think I need a lubricant?

Sick Puppy

Nick Collis Bird · « **Reply #50 on:** October 26, 2013, 09:59:38 AM »

Quote from: boxcall on October 26, 2013, 03:02:50 AM

Dear Marje,
My melodeon keyboard has been giving me trouble lately My rod has been getting stuck in the hole in the lever. so Theo's advise was to take the rod out, give it a good cleaning & polishing if needed (and it was ) then I reinsert it back in the hole and reamed that out until the rod spun freely. And after that when I played with it it felt very good but because I play often and for a long time I feel a little heat building up so , My question is do you think I need a lubricant?

Sick Puppy

No, just keep taking the tablets . From your previous posts I assume you're still on the WD 40,
If that has not worked well enough, there is a new substance on the market available only on Melnet, called THEOREESSGRAPHITELESTERINE. I'm pretty sure your chemist will advise .
Marje.

Nick Collis Bird · « **Reply #51 on:** November 01, 2013, 09:05:46 AM »

Dear Marje,
I'm in a quandary.or quandry.
I have a Lilliput Bb/Eb and the bellows have been re-taped. Now I can't do the straps up.
Is this a serious problem? My Girlfriend says "just let it hang loose, I like it that way". But I'm not convinced.
Yours, Strapless in Seattle

911377brian · « **Reply #52 on:** November 01, 2013, 09:24:01 AM »

What have you loosed onto the melodeonsphere Pikey? I can almost hear the distant rhythmic knocking of Theo's head on his work bench...

Nick Collis Bird · « **Reply #53 on:** November 01, 2013, 09:32:08 AM »

Very true Brian

But all of us must have a sense of humour somewhere. Even if it is concealed inside the bellows

Marje · « **Reply #54 on:** November 01, 2013, 02:54:06 PM »

Dear Marje,

I am confused. Normally all the Melnet posts from Marje are mine, but now there are impostors all over the place, posting some stuff which, to be frank, is somewhat smutty, and bringing my name into disrepute. I am the original Marje, and have been one all my life. I even carry a Marge Simpson keyfob, that's about as Margey as you can get. I don't want to have to change my name to avoid further confusion - maybe I will just go straight to my lawyer.

Oh, and while we're on the subject, how should we spell it? "Marge" looks ok but as my full name is Marjorie, it's not quite right. "Marj" looks as if I'd forgotten to finish it off, and can be mis-read as "Mary", while "Marje" is a breach of normal English orthography. What were my parents thinking of, gving me an unspellable name?

Your perplexedly,
Marj(e)

Thrupenny Bit · « **Reply #55 on:** November 01, 2013, 03:04:47 PM »

Worry not Marje, I know who you are......
( I think )

Q

Nick Collis Bird · « **Reply #56 on:** November 01, 2013, 05:27:02 PM »

Dear Marje,
Please don't worry if your name has been usurped. You could always join MARGE anonymous .
My mum told me back in the forties that Butter was better than Marge because Margarine was invented by Napoleon Bonaparte for marching his army on their stomachs., and they all suffered from RSI.
Which is repeated something or other.
Bellows suffer from the same thing especially when they have no feet to rest on.
Anyway keep posting in Marje,
Marje

Nick Collis Bird · « **Reply #57 on:** November 06, 2013, 07:37:55 AM »

Dear Marje,
You may have read in the Tabloids that I have been Rusticated.
Do you think that drinking a pint of Red Lead with bellows open or closed could be a cure.
Please help me in my quandry or is that please help me with my laundry?

Thrupenny Bit · « **Reply #58 on:** November 06, 2013, 05:59:37 PM »

I thought 'rusticated' wuz wot happened down yer when outsiders move in

Or have I misunderstood?
Marje, please put me out my misery ........

EastAnglianTed · « **Reply #59 on:** November 06, 2013, 06:10:36 PM »

Dear Marje,
I am in a happy relationship with Hascy. She is perfectly sized, can't fault her in any way. I used to know Erica, but her voice was too high for me at some points, so we went our seperate ways.
Thing is, I saw Mory the other day, and she is a little bigger than Hascy but by god I wanted a good squeeze on a bigger set of bellows for once. Since then, I know I will never betray Hascy, but my urge for longer squeezes on bigger bellows has been getting stronger.
Help!
Bacon McFinchfarts

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Author Topic: Dear Marge........ Humorous thread...... Melodeon related problems only please (Read 27649 times)