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Author Topic: The critique thread  (Read 5140 times)

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Lester

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #20 on: January 28, 2015, 10:54:35 AM »

Here we go, and please don't hesitate to check out and have your say on my other videos, which up until now have been greeted mostly with silence on this site. Feel like I am about to dive into a swimming pool wearing a swim suit with a loose tie....

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JXJadzdhGLw

Not really my sort of music so my observation is on your straps. I believe you would be better off with the treble keyboard nearer the centre line of your body and more vertical. Currently your right hand seems to be cramped up and at an odd angle.

ps You may like to consider more use of your little finger  ;)

Bob Ellis

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #21 on: January 28, 2015, 11:18:13 AM »

For what it is worth, Grape Ape, here is a critique from a fellow francophile, who, whilst playing in a French dance band, does not claim to be an expert.

There was a lot to admire in your sensitive recording, but there were places when your timing was inconsistent. This was most noticeable in the faster runs of shorter notes, when you appeared to tense up and play in a slightly disjointed manner. Until you can play those passages smoothly, I would try to maintain an even tempo through them with your left hand, whilst playing the right hhand runs crisply and evenly. Once you are satisfied with your phrasing in those passages, you can then, if you wish put a little variation into the left hand.

I also felt that there were timing issues in your slow introduction, which was less well phrased than your slow finale.
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Bob Ellis

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #22 on: January 28, 2015, 11:23:03 AM »

Baron, with regard to lifting your finger before re-striking the same button, the important thing is to ensure that there is a slight gap between the notes so that they do not slur into one another, especially if you are playing a repeat of the same note. Personally, I don't think it matters whether you lift your finger clear of the button or not so long as you achieve a distinct separation between the two notes.
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butimba

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #23 on: January 28, 2015, 10:23:00 PM »

Here we go, and please don't hesitate to check out and have your say on my other videos, which up until now have been greeted mostly with silence on this site. Feel like I am about to dive into a swimming pool wearing a swim suit with a loose tie....
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JXJadzdhGLw

I agree with Bob: I really like the sensitivity in your performance, among other things, but I think your timing could be improved in places - you seem to rush when you get to a quicker run of notes (e.g. at about 1:08), and the timing in the intro could be better. (I think it's just the first little phrase that is the main culprit, where it's hard to work out that the tune is actually in 3/4.) (Boring idea: practise the tune with a metronome and really get the timing rock-steady before you mess around too much with it.)

One thing you could try next is to vary the rhythm of the bass part a bit more so you're not always playing 'om-pah-pah'. I think if you maybe try to use longer notes occasionally (e.g. just one chord held down for a whole bar) or incorporate more rests into the left hand, the performance might sound a bit more relaxed, which I kind of think you want for French music. (See Stephane Delicq here for a great example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnAB3sCm7Bg)

I hope that might be of some help!

(P.S. If anyone thinks that I'm talking out of my backside, please say so. :D I'm very aware that I'm still pretty new to the melodeon plus, in this case, am a long way from being an expert on French music.)   
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Stiamh

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #24 on: January 29, 2015, 12:45:31 PM »

I wrote a long post while most of you were in bed last night and soon deleted it after having second thoughts. However the gist of it was that in Grape Ape's clip I noticed that the sharp taps of the bass and chord buttons seemed to be making the melody notes wobble in a way that spoiled the intended lyrical feel of the tune. (A separate issue from the bass side being generally too loud for my taste.)

This can be heard through much of the tune but if you want an example, it seems particularly noticeable between 1:30 and 1:40.

Experimenting leads me to believe that this partly a natural tendency of the DBA (for choppy use of basses to disrupt air flow to the treble reeds) but that it is exacerbated by a) playing softly and b) allowing the treble cabinet to wobble about.

Any thoughts, anyone?

simonj

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #25 on: January 29, 2015, 01:33:11 PM »

I certainly have trouble holding treble notes steady alongside basses. This is down to my poor bellows control and allowing the instrument to bounce around too much. I think I'm getting better, through practice.
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Chris Ryall

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #26 on: January 29, 2015, 02:59:20 PM »

Surprised! But easy enough to practice surely? Just hold your note right end, push/pull bellows as necessary, and spider around the basses as you chose.

If you play a home key chord beforehand it'll help train your ear as to what bass works with what too (essentially 'in scale' notes so DEF#GABC against C and DEF#GABC# agaist other notes. But mainly to 'debounce' those bellows'. Yes, we've all been there …
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boxcall

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #27 on: January 29, 2015, 07:16:16 PM »

We have a tune of the month and theme of the month, where there are tunes to be commented on -- "good" or "could improve if you try this" etc.
I personally would like feed back and sometimes wonder why post if your not getting it?
I prefer to get a little critiquing rather than to be left wondering if I should even bother.

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Ollie

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #28 on: January 29, 2015, 08:28:17 PM »

We have a tune of the month and theme of the month, where there are tunes to be commented on -- "good" or "could improve if you try this" etc.
I personally would like feed back and sometimes wonder why post if your not getting it?
I prefer to get a little critiquing rather than to be left wondering if I should even bother.

I agree entirely (although I don't mind if my posts get comments or not). This was one of the original intentions of ToTM, and I think it's sad that that element seems to have been lost.
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boxcall

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #29 on: January 29, 2015, 08:48:14 PM »

Ollie,
 I wasn't only thinking of my own stuff entirely, I think a lot of post go though with no response (I'm guilty too)
and I think it would help get people to post more, if done with helping someone's playing in mind and people need to be open to it.
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Grape Ape

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #30 on: January 29, 2015, 10:18:07 PM »

I have found the critiques thus far to be very helpful. The intro probably should have been cut out as it really was sub par playing but after fifteen takes trying not to make a mistake all the through, at the time I decided it was good enough.  I had not noticed the "note wobbles" before, and would like more ideas how to correct it. In general, I find the Lilly sounds best when bass and treble notes are played around eachother rather than simultaneously. Sebastian, I agree with your remarks on the scale ornamentation I am trying to squeeze in at the end, it sounds rushed and tense. Do you think it something that might smooth out with practice or is it something that should be abandoned? It is not actually written into the piece, but (in my head at least) it sounded cool.
I will reflect and experiment with the "attack of each note." I am trying to avoid playing the tune with too much attack, and going for something more subtle, but I agree that my approach deemphasizes the wieght of some of the more important notes.
Thanks for the feedback!
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Ollie

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #31 on: January 29, 2015, 10:31:48 PM »

Another thought - would this thread be better off as a sub-forum? That way, people could start a new topic every time they want something critiquing, rather than posting it here where comments may get mixed up with other feedback.
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Theo

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #32 on: January 29, 2015, 10:51:20 PM »

Or even simpler just ask for acritique when posting in this forum.
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boxcall

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #33 on: January 30, 2015, 02:54:05 PM »

By posting in tune of the month I feel like I'm already asking to be critiqued.
now, not all posts would need a critiqueing comment as there are plenty of good players that don't need correction.
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Graham Spencer

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #34 on: January 30, 2015, 04:28:04 PM »

there are plenty of good players that don't need correction.

But they should be open to suggestion. I doubt that there is a player of any instrument on the planet who is perfect in every respect, and therefore above criticism (I use the word "criticism" in its true context, not in its colloquial pejorative sense).

Graham
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butimba

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #35 on: January 31, 2015, 05:03:04 PM »

I agree entirely (although I don't mind if my posts get comments or not). This was one of the original intentions of ToTM, and I think it's sad that that element seems to have been lost.

I didn't know that ToTM used to be more like that, but I guess one of the reasons that I thought this thread might be helpful is because it isn't really like that any longer...

I'm guessing this thread might die a fairly quick death (unless it gets stickied or something), but I just wanted to say that I agree with boxcall and Ollie's general sentiments.

Also, yes to this!

there are plenty of good players that don't need correction.

But they should be open to suggestion.
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boxcall

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #36 on: January 31, 2015, 06:18:05 PM »

sorry! butimba,
I wasn't trying to kill your thread, but I also don't want to see tune of tune month fall off from lack of support. This idea althought a good one could draw away from TOTM ,my two cents.

I agree with " they should be open to suggestion" as George stated.
I also think not all music should or has to be played  ( perfectly ) ,that you have to make it your own or put your stamp on it so to speak. As long as it sounds good when playing with others and if it doesn't someone should say something.  If I got a piece of food in My teeth I'd prefer you tell Me Too. (:)
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butimba

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #37 on: January 31, 2015, 09:57:00 PM »

sorry! butimba,
I wasn't trying to kill your thread

It hadn't even crossed my mind that you might be! I was actually just thinking that (like any other thread) if nobody posts for a few days it'll get lost in a sea of threads and people just won't know it's here.

but I also don't want to see tune of tune month fall off from lack of support. This idea although a good one could draw away from TOTM ,my two cents.

Fair enough. I don't want to see ToTM fall off either. Like I said, part of the reason for starting this thread was so it could do something that ToTM doesn't seem to be doing at the moment. But maybe that can change, who knows. I don't see why both can't coexist together really.

I also think not all music should or has to be played  ( perfectly )

My apparent obsession with critiquing things might suggest otherwise so I just wanted to say that I agree with this entirely. Music is there to be enjoyed and that should be more important than anything else, including how 'perfect' a performance is. (This is probably blatantly obvious to everyone else, but I went through the whole ABRSM grades and music-degree mill, so simply 'enjoying' music was never as important as trying to get a note-perfect performance or pass the next grade or whatever. It took me a long time to realise this wasn't a very fun or healthy way of looking at things.)
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sqwzboxstudent

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Re: The critique thread
« Reply #38 on: February 04, 2015, 08:26:50 PM »

i think its a good idea, critique away !

http://youtu.be/ciSzqfhHaWo
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