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[Jonathan Arnett]

Q: Why when you haven't learned to play one instrument have you ordered another?
A: Because it's an absolute bargain and I can't resist it. And it's perfect for out son to learn on.
Result Divorce.

Perhaps I should own up about it before hand. Or just say it came by mistake. How about I hide it and pretend it's the same one only having one out at a time? My wife is tone deaf she wouldn't notice except the new one is a different colour. 
Just rehearsing my excuses for when the box comes. The second one....  From France. Well the first one is going so well (D/G Pokerwork) That the one row in C (Hohner 1930's pre Pokerwork) was crying out for a new home and I weakened. Also I need something to play while the Pokerwork is being restored. (Just having it tuned love.) Well it needs a bit of work. But I didn't know I was going to get along with it until I'd had it a couple of weeks. Now I can't put it down. And my son is interested in learning as he seems to be musical and maybe a one row is a bit simpler for a start? Is this what MAD is all about??

[Grape Ape]

It's how it started for me.  By the way, I have no advice to offer.  I try to rationalize by saying things like "at least I don't collect guns, or play golf, or spend all our money at the bar (which always gets a laugh as who needs a bar when I've a fridge full of beer and a cellar full of wine)"

There really is no getting around it.  Sooner or later you will have to own up to the fact that you have a problem.  A very serious problem.  You will have to come clean and hope she comes to accept this new and slightly broken you, and you in return will have to grow used to her only regarding you with a raised eyebrow from now on.

As for the one row, for me it is quite a bit more difficult than a two row in some ways, and easier I suppose in other ways.  Never have gotten the hang of it, but I mostlly play 2 and 3 row.

[JimmyM]

I feel your pain 

I do, however, think honesty is the best policy. Having snuck a few into the house in the past and been made to look very foolish when my deception failed miserably

I have a well rehearsed and often used speech where i point out that i dont gamble, drink, smoke... etc
my good lady has heard it often and, when in mischeivous mood, will repeat it back to me. word for word and in a charming cockney accent, that she insists is mine 

I will point out all the things that my work colleagues spend waste their money on, such as sports television, drinking, the bookies etc (The desperation shows in my repitition  ) and how i could at least sell my boxes and recoup some of the £

Tbh i AM slightly embarrassed by how many boxes i have. I regularly play 4 of them but that represents a little under half of the total

I love 1 rows but you'll "need" one in every key

[Julian S]

Hmm. I agree - honesty is the best policy . Tone deafness is one thing but the obvious difference between a one row and a two row box - difficult to overcome that issue. You could of course say that you are seeking expert advice on how to cope with addiction from a wonderful online forum of fellow sufferers. After all, there are much worse problems...some of us have to build extensions to store our melodeon collections and then there is insurance, complaints from neighbours about noise (never mind the family - and pets !), financial difficulties, the stress of never quite managing to get a tune right....etc etc

All the best from me . Good luck and happy playing - great that your son could end up loving melodeon as well !
I'm Julian. An addict for forty years and never regretting it (though relatives and friends might think otherwise !)

[Winston Smith]

Jonathan, my heart goes out to you. But trying to keep our dirty little secrets from the one we love will never have a good ending. You have to tell her, and then rely on the strength of her love for you. Good luck, and good hunting for the next one!

[Bob Ellis]

I know what you mean. The grief I get when I buy another one, as I did recently - "WHAATTT! ANOTHER ONE!!" - almost tempts me into deception, but not quite. I just marshal my arguments as to why I want need it, why it is a bargain at that price and then wait for the flak to die down and the dust to settle. A little bribery also seems to help, buying her things that she wants and doing some of those jobs around the house and garden that I never seem to get round to at other times.

[Grape Ape]

Sage advice, Bob.

[Grape Ape]

Just a thought... if she should stoop to the level of saying something along the lines of "you aren't even that good at the thing" don't see this as the unfair insult it is, but rather as an opportunity.  Put on your best wounded dog face, use your one hand to cover your brow in sadness, and the other to place a winning bid on German ebay.  Best not to miss an opportunity... 

[george garside]

''Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive''   - but  then '' who is to throw the first stone''!

George  ( who  has enough experience to join   MI5) :||:etc

[oggiesnr]

Two rules for collecting instruments -

1 - never have them all in the same place at the same time

2 - at some point buy one that you don't want to keep and make a point of selling it on.  That way you can always point to it when challenged "Why do you never sell one?".

However at the start of a collection honesty is the best policy.  I used the "Blind them with music" approach where I point out that I needed to be a able to play in different keys than my original box (which I still needed for morris and sessions).

The flipside is that when your partner decides that they need something the only possible approach is "Of course Dear"!

[baz parkes]

I am blessed...whenever I see or point out something interesting in the box dept. Mrs P's answer is usually "Why don't you buy it then?"

My answer is usually I can't really do justice to the 12 I already have....

[playandteach]

I'm always happy to house one temporarily should you feel the need to disperse your collection.
This is the first time I've used an emoticon in any situation.

[Clive Williams]

I am blessed...whenever I see or point out something interesting in the box dept. Mrs P's answer is usually "Why don't you buy it then?"

Me too. Then I get the follow up conversation a day or two later about the lavish shopping trip, or the outrageously expensive holiday she's booked. Rarely does a melodeon cost just the cost of the melodeon in our house.

[Malcolm Clapp]

Five minutes ago, I purchased a Serenellini 233 Cloud deluxe.
Wish me luck when the boss finds out....

[Joan Kureczka]

Fortunately, when I added the fourth box, my husband couldn't say anything. He has (at least) 11 guitars and counting.

[jonm]

I used to have a spare instrument case under the bed. You buy a new instrument, put it into the case and then some time later pop into the bedroom and play.

"This old thing? Forgot it was under the bed. Nice, though, isn't it? I ought to play it more." Instrument and case can then move into the mainstream (music room/study).

Then a little later move it back to the case it came in, leave the empty under-bed case in the garage for a month or two, and replace under the bed for the next purchase.

It worked for a while (well, insofar as any attempt to fool the distaff side ever works other than to be tolerated as a form of amusement).

[Jonathan Arnett]

I'm always happy to house one temporarily should you feel the need to disperse your collection.
This is the first time I've used an emoticon in any situation.

Lol, I only have the two.

I used to have a spare instrument case under the bed. You buy a new instrument, put it into the case and then some time later pop into the bedroom and play.

"This old thing? Forgot it was under the bed. Nice, though, isn't it? I ought to play it more." Instrument and case can then move into the mainstream (music room/study).

Then a little later move it back to the case it came in, leave the empty under-bed case in the garage for a month or two, and replace under the bed for the next purchase.

It worked for a while (well, insofar as any attempt to fool the distaff side ever works other than to be tolerated as a form of amusement).

Your worse than me.... Lol. lots of sage advice here.
Well it came today when I was at work. Sadly wifey was at home. I got a text errrr informing me that it had arrived. Am still alive but may need to go to casualty later. My son is now learning to play. It's actually a good fit for him as he's only 5. The Pokerwork is massive by comparison. Theo has done a great job of restoring it. I now know how much my Pokerwork needs sorting out. No way I can drone a chord or fundamental and hear any treble with the Pokerwork. Better be diplomatic and wait a few weeks though. Another bill so soon could be pushing it a bit too far. It also needs a case and a strap but I can pay cash for those...  A good buy in my opinion. Theo it's all your fault. I read your plug and went for it! 

[Guy]

I got lucky. My then girlfriend took me to the Castagnari workshop as my 50th birthday present. She's now my wife, for obvious reasons.

However, I still get asked "How many melodeons do you have?", to which the response is always "not quite enough".

But we're currently renovating an old cottage, and the deal was that I have a room at one end to practice in. Apparently melodeons and "Coronation Street" don't mix well...

Cheers,
Guy

[Ebor_fiddler]

Yes, that's why I don't do the practice I ought. Can't we get the Powers in Manchester to re-record the theme tune on squeezebox, rather than the trumpet or the current amateur violin?

[Earbrass]

You have to tell her, and then rely on the strength of her love for you. Good luck, and good hunting for the next one!

box or wife?