Not sure if this is the correct place for this but is anyone interested in FREE GOODIES? Have available for collection, 12 Partridges in Pear Trees, 22 Turtle Doves (Wood Pigeons really), 30 French Hens (Non Laying but possibly rabid), 36 Colly Birds (more Wood Pigeons), 42 Geese (Laying), 42 Swans (Swimming), 40 Milk Maids (Guaranteed Smallpox Proof), 36 Ladies Dancing (Tap only), 30 Lords (Leaping but in need of massage and corn plasters), 22 Pipers (GHP, mainly Flowers of the Forest), 12 Max Roach Impersonators and one completely nutty True Love.
Advice needed on dung removal, ceiling carpet and floor repair, suggestions for three churns of rancid milk, addled geese eggs and the deafened Croydon populace. Don't worry about the broken arms from Swan handling, the local hospital took care of those.
Most important, any advice on removing animal droppings from the Erika, Galotta One Row D, silver plated saxophone and flute and subsequent disinfection. Luckily the flugelhorn was in it's case.
Eating is not an option as I am a vegetarian.
I am returning the 40 Gold Rings.
Old Bill.
