Discussions > Teaching and Learning
Are you satisfied with your playing?
Eshed:
I've been going to a session (ITM, with a GC of all things) lately and I've had a discussion with another (B/C) box player about my playing.
As usual it boiled down to the fact that mistakes you notice in your own playing are less obvious to others, but overall I reached the conclusion that I'm not satisfied with how I play.
In some ways this is the reason why I practice and improve - I can always see the faults I have and I truly want them gone - but apparently this isn't the only way.
That's not to say I'm not happy when I play, I enjoy the process, I enjoy the music, I enjoy every little bit I learn, but I'm not at all content with the current state of affairs.
One of the worst consequences, I think, is that it makes it harder for me to brush off mistakes when playing. I'm starting to fear that the self-criticism just overwhelms my brain so it can't recover back to the tune fast enough.
(Apologies, The preface was longer than expected)
My questions to you Melnetters are as follows:
Are you satisfied with your playing? Assuming you weren't when you started playing, what made this change?
What drives you to improve your playing?
Clive Williams:
I accept the standard I'm at, given the limitations of practice/playing time available. It would be nice to be professional standard, but professional standard today is not what it was, say, 25 years ago. Listening to the likes of Aurelien Claranbaux and Raphael Decoster this morning (I have a nice job!) there is no way I'm ever going to get close to that. So I enjoy doing what I can. I would like to improve my piano though, which is frustratingly just below the standard I'm trying to reach, and not at 'playing out' standard yet, even as an amateur - but it's close enough for it not to seem totally impractical. Frustrating. Pah.
Gena Crisman:
Am I satisfied with my playing? And, myself, as a performer? Honestly, I think my answer is yes. There have been times when I have not been, there have been times where I've been very disappointed in myself - I had a bad experience early on, I was asked to play for a group who I wasn't very familiar with, and too much was being asked of me all at once, and I was the only musician. I really struggled with the performance, as well as how I felt about it afterwards. I really beat myself up about it.
Now though, I think I can more cheerfully admit when I butcher something, or at the very least can't do something that I have done before. I hung out for a while playing music at Purbeck Folk Festival last weekend, hopped up on the busking stage midway up a hill for a bit - no one really sticks around as it's a thoroughfare. While up there, I managed to just ruin around let's say 50% of the melody side chords in a tune I myself wrote specifically to explore how to play melody side chords. But, I don't feel bad about it in the same way I have in the past - I didn't want to collapse in and destroy myself for my failure, and that's absolutely a set of feelings I have had previously. That's mostly because I know I can play it, I just couldn't in that situation, at that time, and that's ok and I, effectively, forgive myself - maybe I'll be able to do it on the stage next time, maybe I never will, but I know I can do it, just, somewhere else.
In terms of changes, believing there will be a next time. For performing to people while solo/duo, knowing I have more than 1 or 2 tunes to share, so if one does go poorly, it isn't the end of the world, all my eggs aren't in one basket. For performing with my morris side, I know the tunes inside and out & know the band are with me, and that we'll be doing it again next week, whatever wrong notes are played. For playing with other musicians in sessions, I usually go in expecting to make a bunch of mistakes and get some chords totally wrong, but I know I'm going there to pay attention to the other people + any problems in my playing, try and work out those issues & hone myself all while having a good time with people who've become friends. Sometimes I go with the the intent of trying new things and playing little musical games that I know I'm not going to 100% succeed at - eg I take my melodica to ukulele group and just try to make up little counter melodies for tunes from the chords. I've also taken a DG melodeon and done the same, which is interesting when the tune's in F.
Is this all that much different from Clive, accepting the standard that I am at? To some extent, it's the same thing. I know I enjoy playing, I know people enjoy listening to me, I know people enjoy playing music with me. It doesn't matter to me if I played 6 chords, or only 5, because it feels really good to have music in my life. The main thing is I am content to watch myself grow, like watching a pot plant in the corner - my goal, really, is just to thrive.
James Fitton:
I think this question quickly becomes one of those "it all depends what you mean by...." questions. Could I play better? Yes, of course, and that will always be true. Is my playing good enough to lead a dance or a song? Yes, so long as I stick to the sort of repertoire I can play well. Does it give me pleasure to play? Yes, almost always. Do I want to rest on my (very limited) laurels, and learn no more new tunes/techniques/tricks and ideas? No, definitely not, although all of this is limited by the time available. Do I beat myself up about any of this? No, life's too short, and if this isn't fun, then I don't want to do it any more!
Clawhammer:
Thanks, Gena for three wonderful criteria: "I know I enjoy playing, I know people enjoy listening to me, I know people enjoy playing music with me."
Bill
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